My Pants Don’t Fit

Okay, so most of y’all know that being a mom is pretty demanding. When you add nursing to the mix, then sprinkle a little grad school on top…there’s a lot of things that might slip through the cracks in your jam-packed schedule.

What’s so time-consuming about nursing, you say? Well, if you were at home with your baby all day — it probably wouldn’t be. But most American moms that aren’t gazillionaires actually go back to work inhumanly fast after giving birth. That means dragging (what seems like) a 50 pound breast pump with you every day, finding time to pump for 10–20 minutes 2–3 times during the day, and timing your commute so that your milk doesn’t spoil before you get home. For me, that means leaving work 15 minutes early to catch the early train — so I can pick up the baby from school in time — then make it home to throw that liquid gold in the fridge.

Most days, I can make that work. However — I’m also a grad student, so I have to add in that 90 minutes of class time to the 5 hours I have to get the milk from fridge to fridge. You might ask why not have ice-packs or a cooler, and well…they’re heavy. I’m already carrying around enough supplies to sustain life on a small planet, and I don’t need to add more stuff to my bulging back pack.

The moms reading this know that with great mom power comes great responsibility. So while we know the enrichment dance/step activities, art programs, and music classes bring to our kids’ lives — that also means you’ll be attending 2–3 events or showcases every week. If you happen to have a partner in all this, that’s great — because at least they can support you with handling the logistics. But to your little ones, nothing is quite like having Mommy in the audience watching you dance your little heart out to Beyoncé.

Speaking of partners, my husband is great. He does a lot to make sure our kids are loved and supported, and he works really hard so that we can afford all these damn activities. But he has useless nipples — so that part is all up to me.

Given my work, school, and mommy duties schedule, you might infer that I have very little time to do anything else. You’re absolutely right. Aside from the occasional novel I read on the train and the 20 minutes I get to myself when I sneak to the bathroom to scroll through my news feed — I don’t get any time for self care. Which leads me to…my pants don’t fit.

My favorite jeans in the whole world (medium wash, destroyed denim, super elastic jeggings) are too big. And I have no idea if it’s because I binged on cake for my son’s first birthday during midterms week and stretched them out, or because I’ve lost weight from chasing this tornad- baby around my house knocking hazardous objects out of his hands. It could be that I also stretched the elastic during one of these days where I can’t seem to eat enough to save my life (BF makes you RAVENOUS), or it could be that I’m constantly running to catch a train so I’m not late to work/school/home. I have no idea, because the batteries in my scale died months ago, and I haven’t had the time to go pick up the batteries. *Sigh*

Until next time.

-Maria